Category Archives: self awareness

The Most Common Blocks to Happiness

We all want to be happy. In his book “Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart”, Dr Gordon Livingstone tells us that for most of us, having something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to are the three basic things that make most of us happy. Having held many vision board workshops over the years, I have to agree with him. On every vision board, I see the desire for enjoyable and meaningful work, for a loving partner and things to look forward to in the future. And yet there will be times in our lives that we don’t have one, two or even all three of these things in our lives. How, then, can we be happy? To quote from my recent publication A Shift to Bliss:

“True and lasting happiness doesn’t come from a desired outcome. If you are relying on a desired outcome for your happiness, it will be short-lived. True happiness can only be found from within and it follows that this inner fulfilment will create your outer fulfilment.”

Although we have been conditioned to believe that certain things will make us happy, but we each have the power to generate our own happiness no matter what is happening in our lives. We cannot get true happiness from “out there”! It’s not what happens to us that creates our happiness or our unhappiness; it is what we think about what happens to us that creates our happiness or unhappiness.

Our fearful ego mind, always in the vibration of lack and looking for what is missing, has all sorts of habits and tricks to keep us feeling unhappy, and here are the most common:
Not being present – dwelling on the past or anticipating the future stops us from being fully in the moment. When we can be fully in the moment, we discover most of the time that all is well in that moment!

Obsessing over the destination and not the journey – we all have goals and dreams, but if we focus too much on a future outcome, we can forget to enjoy the now … life really is a journey, and very often the destination isn’t as rosy as we had anticipated.

Resisting the What Is – challenges are a part of life. By accepting everything that happens in our life, we work with it and not against it. Whatever we resist, persists. By accepting things as they are, paradoxically, we are more likely to bring about positive change.

Misaligned action – if what we are doing is in conflict to what we really want and who we want to be, we won’t be feeling happy. Conversely, if what we do is in alignment with what we really want and who we want to be, we will be feeling a sense of purpose and inner joy.

Suppressing feelings – if we are to live a full life, then we are meant to feel the full spectrum of feelings that are a part of life – even the so-called negative ones – anger, guilt, shame, hopelessness, loneliness, fear, jealousy – by feeling and acknowledging our feelings, we allow them to pass through us. If we try not to feel them, we suppress them and they remain stuck in our energy field, creating more situations that trigger these feelings.

Repressed fear – it is normal and human to have fears. Problems arise when we deny our fear. It then stays locked in our energy field, attracting to us everything we fear! If we acknowledge our fears, they begin to lose their power over us.

Expectations – if we are overly-attached to certain outcomes, we can plummet into disappointment if the expectation doesn’t materialise. While it’s good to be optimistic, we must balance this with acceptance.

Believing in “should” – “I should be more successful by now”; “he should know that this is not ok”, “you should be more generous”. The word “should” denotes an expectation, and it is usually the expectation of the mass-consciousness, not necessarily any personal value system of our own.

Comparing ourselves to others – this is a pointless exercise, because there is always going to be someone more attractive, more successful, or more wealthy than us! We are each on our own unique journey, and we are each here to learn different lessons and to create different things. If we feel envy for others, that very vibration will block us from getting what it is they have. So if you find yourself comparing yourself to others who have what you would like, send them love and gratitude to them for showing you that it is possible and that you can have it too.
Depending on other people to make us happy – if we depend on other people to make us happy, then we are at their mercy when they make us unhappy – and they will, because no one can make another person happy all of the time.

Believing “I can’t be happy if others are unhappy” – we must all generate our own happiness. If someone you care about is unhappy, you will be doing them a disservice by becoming unhappy too, but if you remain in a positive vibration, you are more likely to help lift them up than if you are wallowing down there in the lower vibration with them.

Believing in “Happy ever after” – there is no such thing! Life is a series of events – some we see as positive and some as negative. Even if we fall in love, there will be challenges in the future. If we find our “dream house”, it will still need cleaning. Life will always contain challenges. Once we conquer one challenge, a different one will appear.

Lack of gratitude – is your glass half full or half empty? An attitude of gratitude is the greatest way to delete the vibration of scarcity – that is, noticing everything that you don’t have, as opposed to noticing all that you do have. “I already have so much and I am so grateful” is a wonderful affirmation to say every day, as well creating a gratitude list in your mind or on paper.

We cannot chase happiness! – happiness is not a commodity. It is a by-product of a life well-lived. Don’t make happiness your ultimate goal; you’re bound to be disappointed. Make a meaningful life your goal – something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to are worthy goals. Deep down, we all know what we truly want and what will make us happy. If you haven’t worked it out yet, then ask yourself:

• What truly matters to me?
• What would I like my life to be about?
• Who do I want to be?
• What do I have to give?
• How can I contribute?
• How do I want to feel on this journey called life?

You will have gifts, talents and preferences that are unique to you. Don’t deny them. Be true to yourself, follow your heart and know that the Universe truly is on your side!

How the Supermoon may be affecting you

This current full moon is a Supermoon – when the moon is full and is closest to the Earth. In a nutshell, here are the ways you may be being affected:

Feeling highly emotional – full moons can bring to the surface our repressed emotions. If you are feeling emotional – sad, angry, frustrated, hopeless – whatever feeling comes up, embrace the feeling. It’s coming up to be healed, and you can heal it through accepting the feeling and truly feeling it. You’ve got to feel it to heal it!

Feelings of sadness or hopelessness- during a full moon we may feel sad or disappointed about the things we do not have or haven’t happened for us yet. Again, embrace the feeling. Do not judge or beat yourself up.

Old beliefs and patterns becoming more intensified – wherever we are stuck, the situation will become more intensified. This is so that we pay attention. No longer can we ignore it. We are being pushed to transform.

Loss or letting go – we may experience a loss of some kind or have to let go of something. Every transformation begins with a loss. It may be a person, a job, a thing. Or it may be a belief that is no longer serving us. We have to lose something to make room for the new.

Insights – pay attention to your dreams, and to any messages (signs, songs on the radio, inner messages). A full moon can bring inner revelation. For example, I had a mega-revelation yesterday that a particular pattern I am playing out with my son is the same pattern I played out with my mother when I was a child. These insights can be very healing and give us clarity.

Revelation – something may be revealed to us, such as a secret or someone else’s hidden agenda. Things are always revealed to us in divine and perfect timing. Even if the news is bad, accept that it is what it is and that you are meant to know about it, so that you can do something about it.

Inspiration and creativity – moon energy is feminine and creative. Divine inspiration and creativity can flow through us easily at this time. Pay attention to any ideas that come through, and if you are working on a creative project, you will find your creativity flows beautifully right now.

Aligning to purpose – you may feel the desire to do something that is aligned with your soul’s purpose. If this is happening for you, heed the call. This doesn’t mean that you give up your day job – but take a step towards doing what you really want to do. Look into courses and talk to people who may be able to help you.

You can embrace this Supermoon energy by meditating – preferably in the moonlight! Or take a mindful walk in the moonlight, observing without labelling. You could even have a moon bathe! Embrace your feminine “Goddess” energy at this time and enjoy the beautiful silver moon – it is there for your healing. And if you have crystals, give them a cleanse under the supermoon tonight!

Lion’s Gateway – Align with Your Soul’s Truth

Lion’s Gate occurs on 8/8 and is a cosmic alignment which occurs every year, when the Earth aligns with the centre of the galaxy and opens a portal between the physical and the spiritual realms. This is a wonderful opportunity for all of us to bring the spiritual into our earthly experience. That is what we are here to do – to create Heaven on Earth! This window of opportunity may be experienced by some as a crisis, an ending, or traumatic events. The Universe is giving us a shake-up. For others it may be the overwhelming feeling that we are no longer in alignment with certain aspects of our lives. Wherever we are out of alignment with our soul, we will experience heightened challenge and discomfort, because we are being pushed to become more conscious. For many, our dreams may be more vivid and hold strong messages, and those who are healers or sensitive to energy, may physically experience the waves of energy that are being beamed to us right now.

If you are currently experiencing challenges, surrender to them and trust that they are a necessary part of your journey to awakening. Lose the fear! We must transition from fear to love.

How do I let go of the vibration of fear and allow in the vibration of love?

Close your eyes and focus on your heart chakra. Feel into your heart and breathe in and out. One of the most powerful ways of transmuting fear into love is by reciting the ho’Oponopono prayer.

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you.

Love is the only power that heals, and the only vibration from which we can make choices in our highest good. Choices made out of fear will not lead to fulfilment; choices made out of love will always ultimately result in fulfilment. It’s as simple as that. Love creates all things good. And this is where trust comes in.

How do learn to trust in the Universe?

Start with this affirmation:

“I trust that the Universe is on my side and is forever propelling me towards my highest good”

It’s true! The Universe wants to support us, but it cannot support us if we’re not trusting in it. The vibration of fear negates Universal support. The Universe will always support us if we make choices in our highest good and the highest good of all.

Keep an evidence journal. Write down every time your wishes have been answered, every instance that things have turned out well, every time you receive a gift from the Universe. When you fall into the vibration of fear, look through your journal to remind you that you are always being looked after.

Here is a wonderful YouTube link to the ho’Oponopono song and an explanation of ho’Oponopono.

Sending you Love and Light,

Nicole

Why and How to Clear Space

Mention “space clearing” to some people and they will give you a look that says “So you’re one of those …”. The concept of energy is foreign to some people who over-identify with the physical realm and the tangible, and yet many of these same people experience the “inexplicable”. Many years ago, when living in London, an old maternity nursing home was pulled down in my suburb. It was reported in the local paper that the builders heard the screams and moans of women as they knocked the walls down. These builders were not your new age hippie kind, but they were experiencing an esoteric truth – places are affected by the energy of people and events.

This is great news if where you live or work has positive energy – but if where you live or work has negative energy, you will be affected by it. Perhaps you are sensitive to energy – have you ever walked into a room of people and felt you could “cut the atmosphere with a knife?” or worked in a place where everyone seemed moody or miserable? Conversely, have you ever been in a place where you feel instantly lighter and freer? This is all due to energy.

What creates negative energy patterns in places?

The people who live or work in a place affect the energy of it. If someone is holding a lot of “toxic” emotions, they will affect the energy of the place and this will then begin to infect the other people who live or work in that place.

Places are also affected by the events that take place there, or have taken place. Spaces can hold onto the energy of an event for a very long time after it has happened. Violent acts and murders are an example of this. A little while ago I was asked to clear an old apartment where the resident had been experiencing a series of negative events. As I walked up the stairwell of the block, I felt a dark energy engulf me. I asked my client on arrival if she knew of anything sinister that had happened in the block. She told me that a violent murder had happened there a few years prior to her moving in.

Port Arthur in Tasmania is an interesting case study on energy. I first visited this place with my family when I was 10 years old and I felt an eerie gloominess the whole day we were there. The guide told us about the harsh and miserable conditions for the inmates in the early 1800’s, some of them only young boys who’d been transported from England for such crimes as stealing a loaf of bread. Years later, the notorious mass-shooting of innocent families took place there. When I heard this awful news, it somehow did not surprise me because a negative event or events can create an energy pattern that keeps re-creating a similar energy pattern.

What exactly is energy?

If you’re not sure what I mean by energy, I am referring to the very foundation of all creation. Albert Einstein said that “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it”. Put simply, all that atoms contain is energy. Everything is made of up of energy – people, animals, trees, rocks, water, buildings as well as intangible things such as thoughts and emotions. Thoughts and emotions create energy patterns.

Water is particularly sensitive to emotions, as proven by the Japanese scientist Dr Masaru Emoto who recorded the reaction of water to positive vibrations such as the words “Love” and “Gratitude” and classical music. The water formed beautiful crystals. When exposed to negative vibrations such as the words “Hate” or “Hitler” or heavy metal music, it would not form a crystal.

You may have heard of lay lines – lines of energy that run across the earth. In Europe, churches are traditionally built where lay lines intersect – not because the Christian church wanted it so, but because churches were built over earlier places of worship such as temples. Earlier religions knew what lay lines were and where they were. The Freemasons also knew about this knowledge. In America, The Pentagon, The White House and other key early buildings were built on lay lines because most of the American founding fathers – George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and many others – were Freemasons. The same is the case in Australia. Our old government house is built on a lay line as are Hyde Park and many of the early buildings in Sydney. Governor Lachlan Macquarie was also a Freemason!

When is it necessary to clear space?

Whenever you feel a place is draining you or affecting your physical energy and/or emotions. Such places may be:

  • Any place where there has been conflict such as an argument
  • Any place where negative events are taking place or have taken place
  • Anywhere where energy feels foreign or uncomfortable such as a hotel room or new home
  • Anywhere that you find energy-draining, but have to be, such as a stressful work environment.

How do you clear the energy in a space?

Energy responds to one thing and one thing only. Consciousness. Our conscious intention can clear energy! And there are a number of ways of doing it, but whatever way we choose, it’s important that we feel connected to our Source energy (whatever that means to you – perhaps it’s God, or Angels or simply the Universe).

Verbally:

You can either stand or sit in the place you wish to clear, or you can visualise the place from a distance. Say:

“I command that all negative energies, negative vibrations, negative thoughts and negative emotions leave this room/office/space now. Thank You. So be it.”

Physically:

With your hand or a feather or a laser light, draw a figure eight (or the Reiki power symbol if you’re attuned to Reiki 2) on every wall and in every corner.

For more heavy duty clearing, use a sage smudge stick, or sandalwood or sage incense stick.

Other tools that clear energy effectively are singing bowls, bells and lavender. A few drops of lavender essential oil on a cotton wool ball placed in each corner of a room will keep the energy clear.

Visually:

Visualise white light filling the place you wish to clear, and visualise the figure eight or the Reiki power symbol on each wall and in the corners.

You can take space clearing a step further – particularly for your home – and create a sacred space with a house blessing.

HOUSE BLESSING PROCEDURE

Preparation

  1. Bathe, dress for the occasion
  2. Clear yourself energetically, by asking to be filled with white light
  3. Decide your intention, such as “to clear out all negative energies, and to fill this home with love, peace and light and all that promotes good health and prosperity”.

On a tray, place some items that represent the things you want, for example: a rose (for beauty and purity) a bowl of rice (for creativity/fertility) a lit candle (to bring in light), a crystal (for healing energy), an incense or smudge stick as well as any tools such as a bell or singing bowl and a feather.

Purification

Take the tray with you as you walk around your home. Stand in the centre of each room, ground yourself and breathe.

  • Say I now request the powers of Divine Light, Divine Blessings and Divine Source to safely release, remove and dissolve all negative energies and imprints in this room. I now send cleansing energies to purify and dissolve all negative energies and imprints with white and gold healing light to this room.
  • Go around circumference of room – Use Figure eight/Reiki symbol/bell/bowl
  • Open cupboards and clear with bell, bowl, feather or lavender.

 

Invocation

Say:

May the Creator within all things bring blessings and peace for all the members of this household. May this home be filled with joy, laughter and love. Please fill it now with healing energy and all that supports good health and abundance. Thank You. So be it.

When you have completed all rooms, place the tray in a central area of your home and allow the candle to burn all day.

Preservation

You will need a stone, a permanent marker and an indoor plant. On the stone, write your intentions for your home and place this stone in an indoor plant. Every time you water this plant, you water your intentions!

 

 

 

 

 

The Ego Mind Vs the True Self

Most of us live in a bipolar state and I don’t mean bipolar disorder. We live between two polarities – the Ego Mind and the True Self. You may have heard me say before, that the human race is experiencing an evolution. The more we embrace this evolution by being willing to grow and become present, the more we will be living as our True Self. Nothing happens overnight however, unless we are lucky enough to be struck by the wand of enlightenment in our sleep – and it does happen for some, such as Eckhart Tolle (after much suffering may I add). However most of us will be dipping in and out of our True Self. Sometimes our Ego Mind will dominate and sometimes our True Self will be in charge, and that’s OK and normal. This is where awareness is very valuable.

What is the difference between the ego mind and the True Self?

Our ego mind is our false self – the conditioned self – who is not in touch with who we really are. It feeds on the vibration of fear and lives through a paradigm of Win/Lose (I win and therefore you must lose – also known as competition). When we are in ego we will feel contracted and small and “all alone”, and so we seek POWER. Ego power can feel good and it’s very addictive. Think of times when someone has hurt you and you seek to “get your own back”. It can feel wonderful at the time, but the good effect is short-lived, and often regretted.

The ego mind can also be needy. It does not want to lose anything and so it clings to people, places and situations. When we are in our ego mind, we will be dominated by the emotions of envy, jealousy, guilt, anger, resentment and other toxic emotions as well as loneliness. We can also experience feel-good emotions – excitement, elation and ecstasy, but these never last. When they go, we drop down to the same disconnected, lonely feeling that existed before, which can feel devastating. So the ego mind will have us experiencing an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs. The ego doesn’t like to feel bad and so it looks for quick-fixes and is the basis of all addictions. The ego worries about what other people think of us and acts from an outside point of view as opposed to being self-directed, and just as it fears judgment; it also judges others, creating separation, loneliness and isolation.

We can easily be tricked by the ego mind – convincing us that revenge is justified, that our judgments of others are realistic, that our greed is just a healthy desire and that extreme vanity is an expression of beauty. The ego mind gets overly attached to outcomes and to expectations, and can feel angry or disappointed when things don’t turn out as expected or hoped for. It fills our mind with “random inner dialogue”, a lot of it negative, and much of it pointless.

So to sum it up, the ego mind is insecure and keeps us in perpetual misery!

By contrast, the True Self is who we really are and is connected to the All That Is. It is always in the vibration of love. It operates through the paradigm of Win/Win (I gain and you gain – also known as co-operation). When we are living as our True Self, we feel a sense of expansion and we know that we are significant but not in an egotistical way – this feeling is quietly powerful, humble and connected. While we may experience negative emotions and thoughts, these take place at a more superficial level because underlying these emotions is a foundation of love and a state of awareness that we are not our emotions or our thoughts. We are something far greater.

When we are operating from our True Self, we experience a state of neutrality most of the time – a feeling of inner peace and serenity – while the movie of life plays out just as it may when we are in our ego mind, but we are not “in it” like we are when we are our ego mind. It is simply a movie and we don’t have to step aboard the roller-coaster of thoughts and emotions that the ego mind would choose. The True Self knows that in life, things are forever changing – people, places and situations come and go, sometimes we get what we want and sometimes we don’t – but it makes no real difference to our sense of inner peace. This is true personal power! And it is the basis of true happiness.

What is true happiness?

There are a lot of books out there on happiness. True happiness is the state of inner peace and serenity. Some of us don’t recognise that this is happiness – so conditioned are we that we think happiness is excitement, elation and ecstasy – but these emotions are always short-lived. As human beings, we do not have the energy to sustain such a state of being for that long. What comes up must come down. The more we seek thrills, the more depression and despair we also experience. Our lives will certainly include moments of peak experiences, but the more in touch with our True Self we are, the more we do not identify with the thrill. We can enjoy it for what it is, but not cling to it, or hope that it will last, or take it too seriously, knowing that “this too shall pass”.

How can we begin to connect more with our True Self?

We can only start this journey to the True Self from where we are today. There are no shortcuts. We need to fully embrace who we are right now – we don’t get anywhere by denying our ego. The only way to transcend the ego mind is by:

  1. Bringing AWARENESS to it
  2. Realising there is a SPACE between the ego mind’s desire and our action
  3. Choosing to transcend the ego’s desires with the vibration of LOVE.

Asking the question “What would love do now?” is a powerful question.

Here are further ways of becoming present and getting more in touch with your True Self :

  • Practise presence and observation – Whenever you can, become aware of the present moment – right here, right now – and simply observe it. Simply observe without thought. Set an alarm on your phone two or three times a day, or put a few signs around your home or work space with the word PRESENCE or NOW to remind you to make contact with the present moment right now.
  • Meditate – Sitting with yourself and observing your thoughts, emotions, agitations and distractions is a highly effective way to become self-aware.
  • Pay attention to your breath – This is a great way to become more present. Again, if you’re new to this, set an alarm on your phone two or three times daily to practise.
  • Feel your body – The body is not the busy ego-mind. Feeling the inside of our body brings awareness. The body is constantly talking to you, telling you the truth. When you connect in with your body, you disconnect from your busy ego-mind.
  • Observe nature – Simply by sitting and observing nature, you are connecting in with the Universal Source.
  • Yoga/exercise – Undertake exercise in a self-observant way. Notice your breath, feel your bodily sensations, observe your thoughts. Stay present.
  • Do something you love or do something creative – When you are fully engaged in a create activity that you enjoy, you can feel totally present and connected, and the ego mind falls away. Paint, write, build, decorate, sew, knit, garden, colour-in, play – whatever gives you joy creatively, make some time to do it.

Learn to Be Yourself

We are all unique and have a special purpose. We must stop comparing ourselves to others and honour our own uniqueness. Healer and author Catherine Wilkinson refers to the True Self as Spiritual Purity and has this to say:

”There is only one pure thing that you can be – and that is a pure you.

When something is pure, it has a strength and an effect it could not otherwise have. Think about a laser. A laser is a very pure form of light – so pure that it consists of just one frequency. This purity gives it extraordinary power. A laser can travel for miles in a straight line. It can vaporise tissue and cut through metal. Ordinary light such as torch light cannot do these things. Ordinary light is not pure; it is many things.

When you are “pure you” do not expect to have the same effect on others that another person might have. Your individual nature is different from theirs. How you affect people is a result of your individual nature. The important thing is to become you. Just you. The real you.

Every time you take on the goals, attitudes, thoughts, dreams, feelings or expression of another person, you risk diluting your purity. You will no longer be 100% you. You may become 78% you, or 45%. Some people have almost entirely lost touch with their True Self. They have so overloaded themselves with the expectations and thoughts of others that only a little of them remains, perhaps only 3%. Such people live lives of quiet desperation and their bio-magnetic field (aura) is extremely weak.”

So begin to spend quality time with yourself and listen to yourself! Become aware of how much you take on other people’s energy and beliefs. Your True Self already knows what you want and what will make you happy. Honour those things. Steve Jobs said:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”

So begin taking the first step in knowing YOU, and enjoy the journey. Forget about the destination – or rather, detach from the destination – which is your vision, your goal. It will happen in good time if you believe in it and you trust. BUT all the fun takes place along the journey. Just ask Dorothy, Alice, Gulliver or any other main protagonist in any story. The end of the book isn’t nearly as good as what takes place in those middle pages.