Category Archives: Happiness

How to align to your soul

For your life to be fulfilling, you must align to your soul. Your soul is the divine essence of you, the part of you that was never born, never dies and is eternal. It is more powerful than you can comprehend. The soul is made up of the spirit (which is intangible) and the material (which is tangible). It is the fabric that represents us. Every soul has a purpose and a mission, and it ultimately runs the show. The sooner we accept that, the better our life will be. We are just visitors passing through, and when we align to what our soul wants, we will know happiness and fulfilment. If we continually ignore what our soul wants, happiness and fulfilment evade us. So how do we align to our soul and know what it wants?

Follow your bliss. Whatever gives you a feeling of inspiration and excitement will be soul-aligned – creative pursuits, being in nature, travel – these things will be unique to you. Joseph Campbell told us “Follow your bliss, and doors will open where once there were walls.”

Become present. Stop whatever you are doing on a regular basis and breathe. Notice what is going on around you without labelling it or creating a story in your mind about it.

Meditate. Connection to soul is most easily sourced from going within, but it’s not the only way. I highly recommend the free meditation app Insight Timer which has some wonderful guided meditations and mindfulness meditations. 

Read about personal growth and spirituality, The more you learn about spiritual growth and truth, the more you are able to perceive things from the soul’s perspective. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some books (which are not recent publications but were best sellers for a reason) which I highly recommend:

You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay

The Power is Within You – Louise Hay

The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – Deepak Chopra

A Return to Love – Marianne Williamson

A New Earth – Eckhart Tolle

Soul Contracts – Carolyn Myss

There are so many great books out there, but these are a good start and many are available as audiobooks.

Slow down. Go at nature’s pace or God’s pace. Nature doesn’t rush. By slowing down and bringing mindful awareness into all that we do, we create spaciousness and presence. When we are fully conscious in the now, we ARE soul aligned. St. Francis of Assisi wanted to live amongst nature and he told his congregations that if they wanted to be happy and find peace, to slow down. So much of what we do and try and pack into a day is non-essential. Much of what we spend our money on is also non-essential. Life is much richer when we slow down. If you’re doing a chore like the washing up, slow down, enjoy it! In most tasks, like Mary Poppins tells us, there is an element of fun. Time means nothing to the soul because it’s eternal. The soul transcends time. The ego says “I must meet this deadline or I won’t get paid”. The soul says “I am always supported and looked after. I’ll do that when I’m feeling inclined to do it.” Soul-based decisions ALWAYS work out well. Ego-based decisions just create more speed and stress.

Become aware of your heart. The portal to the soul is the open heart. We are meant to follow our hearts and not our minds! The mind is great at sorting out the small stuff like doing sums, making lists and sorting. The big decisions in life need to be heart decisions. When we follow our hearts, we align to our soul, because the heart always chooses love. The heart will choose a job it loves, it will choose people it loves, it will want to do the things that make you feel good. Heart decisions come from FEELING not THINKING.

Source beauty. Wherever you see beauty, give thanks. The soul loves beauty. Spend time in nature and in beautiful places. We all have our idea of what is beautiful. I love spending time in art galleries, in gardens, in museums looking at beautiful old artefacts, reading poetry, hugging trees and painting. Make beautiful things, have a cup of tea in a fine china cup, make a meal and set the table to look beautiful with table cloth, candles and flowers. Go on holidays to somewhere beautiful. The soul is fed by beauty. Have you ever noticed that when you’re working a lot and haven’t had time to see or be in beauty, how flat, tired and even depressed you become? That’s because the soul needs attention.

Get in touch with your inner child. Your inner child (as opposed to your wounded child) is a loving, playful, light-hearted, free little being. Remember when you were a child and all the things you loved to do. What gave you joy? In what ways were you playful? In what ways were you creative? What were your favourite activities? Chances are that these activities will still bring you joy and have something to do with your soul’s purpose and expression.

Make a list of your favourite things – like the Sound of Music song, become aware of the things you love. They may not be doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles, but by writing as much as you can, you will be delving deep into your soul and chances are that the first few things that you write and the last few things that you write will be the things that make your soul feel alive and aligned. I suggest 100 things because it forces you to really excavate yourself and go deep. The more you give your soul the things it loves, the stronger its presence becomes and the more connected you will feel to it.

Surrender more, do less. Most of us are so conditioned to “doing” and action-oriented activities, that we’ve forgotten how NOT “to do”. The ego thinks it has to be constantly busy, not trusting that the Universe is supportive. Our minds complicate things and makes them harder than they need to be. We fill our diaries with activities, disallowing space to just be. We rush in to fix things, instead of just allowing them to be and allowing time to contemplate what to do next. And sometimes we just need to let things be. The old saying “When in doubt, don’t” is a good one.

The more you do these things (or DON’T do, as the case may be!) the more you activate the relationship with your soul, and the more you will be directed by it. Sometimes the direction you get won’t make any common sense at all. That’s because the soul, in its infinite intelligence, doesn’t operate through common sense. The soul is connected to your Divine Blueprint (the divine plan for your life) and knows far more than your mind does. And that is why soul choices, even if they don’t make any sense at the time, always work out, ultimately for your highest good.

“My Soul is my guide, for my soul is of that abode. I will not speak of the earthly. I am of the Unknown.” – Rumi.


The Most Common Blocks to Happiness

We all want to be happy. In his book “Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart”, Dr Gordon Livingstone tells us that for most of us, having something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to are the three basic things that make most of us happy. Having held many vision board workshops over the years, I have to agree with him. On every vision board, I see the desire for enjoyable and meaningful work, for a loving partner and things to look forward to in the future. And yet there will be times in our lives that we don’t have one, two or even all three of these things in our lives. How, then, can we be happy? To quote from my recent publication A Shift to Bliss:

“True and lasting happiness doesn’t come from a desired outcome. If you are relying on a desired outcome for your happiness, it will be short-lived. True happiness can only be found from within and it follows that this inner fulfilment will create your outer fulfilment.”

Although we have been conditioned to believe that certain things will make us happy, but we each have the power to generate our own happiness no matter what is happening in our lives. We cannot get true happiness from “out there”! It’s not what happens to us that creates our happiness or our unhappiness; it is what we think about what happens to us that creates our happiness or unhappiness.

Our fearful ego mind, always in the vibration of lack and looking for what is missing, has all sorts of habits and tricks to keep us feeling unhappy, and here are the most common:
Not being present – dwelling on the past or anticipating the future stops us from being fully in the moment. When we can be fully in the moment, we discover most of the time that all is well in that moment!

Obsessing over the destination and not the journey – we all have goals and dreams, but if we focus too much on a future outcome, we can forget to enjoy the now … life really is a journey, and very often the destination isn’t as rosy as we had anticipated.

Resisting the What Is – challenges are a part of life. By accepting everything that happens in our life, we work with it and not against it. Whatever we resist, persists. By accepting things as they are, paradoxically, we are more likely to bring about positive change.

Misaligned action – if what we are doing is in conflict to what we really want and who we want to be, we won’t be feeling happy. Conversely, if what we do is in alignment with what we really want and who we want to be, we will be feeling a sense of purpose and inner joy.

Suppressing feelings – if we are to live a full life, then we are meant to feel the full spectrum of feelings that are a part of life – even the so-called negative ones – anger, guilt, shame, hopelessness, loneliness, fear, jealousy – by feeling and acknowledging our feelings, we allow them to pass through us. If we try not to feel them, we suppress them and they remain stuck in our energy field, creating more situations that trigger these feelings.

Repressed fear – it is normal and human to have fears. Problems arise when we deny our fear. It then stays locked in our energy field, attracting to us everything we fear! If we acknowledge our fears, they begin to lose their power over us.

Expectations – if we are overly-attached to certain outcomes, we can plummet into disappointment if the expectation doesn’t materialise. While it’s good to be optimistic, we must balance this with acceptance.

Believing in “should” – “I should be more successful by now”; “he should know that this is not ok”, “you should be more generous”. The word “should” denotes an expectation, and it is usually the expectation of the mass-consciousness, not necessarily any personal value system of our own.

Comparing ourselves to others – this is a pointless exercise, because there is always going to be someone more attractive, more successful, or more wealthy than us! We are each on our own unique journey, and we are each here to learn different lessons and to create different things. If we feel envy for others, that very vibration will block us from getting what it is they have. So if you find yourself comparing yourself to others who have what you would like, send them love and gratitude to them for showing you that it is possible and that you can have it too.
Depending on other people to make us happy – if we depend on other people to make us happy, then we are at their mercy when they make us unhappy – and they will, because no one can make another person happy all of the time.

Believing “I can’t be happy if others are unhappy” – we must all generate our own happiness. If someone you care about is unhappy, you will be doing them a disservice by becoming unhappy too, but if you remain in a positive vibration, you are more likely to help lift them up than if you are wallowing down there in the lower vibration with them.

Believing in “Happy ever after” – there is no such thing! Life is a series of events – some we see as positive and some as negative. Even if we fall in love, there will be challenges in the future. If we find our “dream house”, it will still need cleaning. Life will always contain challenges. Once we conquer one challenge, a different one will appear.

Lack of gratitude – is your glass half full or half empty? An attitude of gratitude is the greatest way to delete the vibration of scarcity – that is, noticing everything that you don’t have, as opposed to noticing all that you do have. “I already have so much and I am so grateful” is a wonderful affirmation to say every day, as well creating a gratitude list in your mind or on paper.

We cannot chase happiness! – happiness is not a commodity. It is a by-product of a life well-lived. Don’t make happiness your ultimate goal; you’re bound to be disappointed. Make a meaningful life your goal – something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to are worthy goals. Deep down, we all know what we truly want and what will make us happy. If you haven’t worked it out yet, then ask yourself:

• What truly matters to me?
• What would I like my life to be about?
• Who do I want to be?
• What do I have to give?
• How can I contribute?
• How do I want to feel on this journey called life?

You will have gifts, talents and preferences that are unique to you. Don’t deny them. Be true to yourself, follow your heart and know that the Universe truly is on your side!