Are you in love or fear?

There is no point in doing anything unless we do it with love! We are only ever in one of two vibrations – love or fear. Vibration is a feeling. Love is the feeling of inner peace or any other feeling that feels good – excitement, inspiration, joy, wonder – and many more. Fear is the feeling of fear or any other feeling that doesn’t feel good – anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, jealousy, disheartenment, loneliness, hopelessness – the list goes on.
We can only begin to change our vibration through becoming conscious. This is why I am an advocate for meditation, because it is a fast track to becoming conscious, present and self-aware.
Many of us choose the path of awareness because we have had enough of suffering. That is how we all wake up – through suffering. And here’s the interesting thing. The ego will create the necessary suffering so as to be transcended. That is what is happening on earth right now.
Feelings come from thoughts, and there are no neutral thoughts – they are either loving or fearful. Loving thought creates miracles. When we become aware, we can ask ourselves in any given moment “Am I choosing the loving thought or the fearful thought?”
By practising self-observation, we gain self-knowledge. In any difficult situation, ask yourself “What do I believe about this situation?” or “What do I believe about this person?” If you’re in judgement, you are blocking love. We can only change our vibration from fear to love through a state of awareness.
Most of us are waking up – and falling back to sleep, waking up and falling back to sleep. This is the process of awakening. Eventually we become more awake than asleep. Life will not leave you alone! Challenges will continue so that you evolve. The challenges that tip you into the vibration of fear are your spiritual path and your practice. It takes awareness to notice your vibration when you’ve been triggered into fear. That is when it is the hardest to stay aware.
The present challenge you face is inevitable. You can come into alignment with any present moment through acceptance. When we experience challenges, we can ask ourselves, what is this an opportunity for? Is it forgiveness and practising unconditional love? Is it letting go of an old wound? Is it letting go of your usual reactive response?
The more we act out of fear, and not love, the more negative karma we create for ourselves. At a seminar last year, Jack Kornfield shared what he thinks is the secret to life. “To act well without attachment to outcomes. Focus on the value, rightness and truth of your actions.” All good will return to you. You only ever get to keep what you give away. Give out love, it will return to you. Give out fear, it will return to you. This is about taking 100% responsibility for your life. Let go of blame, let go of the story.
Eckhart Tolle told us “the world is not here to make you happy (nor your partner, your work, your house etc.). This world is here to make you conscious! In relationships, remember “this person is not here to make me happy; they are here to make me conscious”. When you do this, you become happy!”
The Philosopher Descartes said “Hell is other people” but hell is actually our own mind that judges! This is why meditation and practising presence is so important. You become a better thinker if you let go of thinking! You begin to see things as they really are – the What Is, not the ego mind’s interpretation of it.
Now for the good news. When you deepen into awareness, life knows you don’t need to experience challenges in order to wake up and challenges and difficulties begin to fall away.
So what is love? And how do we stay in the vibration of love?
If you experience difficulties, practise acceptance – lose the narrative, lose any sense of diminishment or victimisation and keep in the present moment, because it’s all an illusion. When you do this, the scales rebalance. Acceptance is LOVE.
Many of us live in a continuous state of unease which becomes our normality. You can only be at ease in the here and how. We become uneasy when we are focused on past or future. You miss your entire life by not being in the present moment! Full presence is LOVE.
When meditating, become a loving field of awareness. Be whatever comes up. Sit with bored, lonely, anxious, wishing, hating, thinking, frightened – feel it, name it and no matter how it feels, choose to love it. Attention is LOVE. Give caring attention to your feelings. Meditation is expanding your capacity of loving awareness and presence. No matter what the circumstances of life, keep your heart on compassion.
Compassion is not pity and self-compassion is not self-pity. Pity is not a healing vibration. Compassion, on the other hand, is empathy and understanding and at the same time seeing ourselves and others as empowered beings who have the ability to reach our full potential. Compassion and self-compassion is LOVE.
We are not here to perfect ourselves or our lives; we are here to perfect our love!
The most important person to love is yourself. This means being kind to yourself and treating yourself the way you would treat a dear friend.
So as to love fully, we must forgive, and the most important people to forgive are those whom we find the hardest to forgive – a difficult parent, an abuser, those who denied us our good. When we forgive these key people, a whole lot of energy is restored to us, which invites in more love and more miracles. On the other hand, whomever you haven’t forgiven will keep showing up in your life in different forms. Unless you deal with it, you will meet it in another person! Your neighbour is yourself. You are your neighbour.
It is also important to forgive ourselves. Every mistake you have made in your life was inevitable, with the knowledge and level of evolution you were at, at that time. The learning and knowledge you gain from a mistake is extremely important, and needs to be acknowledged. When we acknowledge the lesson, we receive divine compensation from the Universe. Forgiveness and self-forgiveness is LOVE.
Gratitude is another important element of love. Gratitude is not necessarily saying “Thank You” (that’s just good manners!). It is the joy that springs up in your heart. Gratitude is doing something with the opportunity that every moment gives us. Every moment is an opportunity to enjoy. Gratitude is LOVE.
In difficult relationships or situations, it can be a struggle to keep your heart open. If you want to communicate with a person with whom you have difficulty, imagine a cord that connects your heart to their heart, and consciously will your heart to stay open. You will be surprised by the difference this makes. Courage and hope equal LOVE.
Add prayer to your meditation. Meditation is listening, prayer is speaking. Every time we meditate, we strengthen our connection to the Divine. Every time we pray we do the same. Like meditation, we’re better off praying little and often than doing it occasionally for longer. Some people feel guilty asking The Source for what they want. The Bible says “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven” – meaning whatever you want, ask the Divine Source for it. In prayer we can give gratitude but we can also ask for what we want. However, once we ask, we must trust that the Source knows exactly how to fix the problem or provide the desire. We must let go of the how and our need to control. Trust is love!
Some interesting studies have been done on prayer. They found that when we pray for another, that person’s life improves. However, they also found that the life of the person doing the praying improved even more! What you give out returns to you. The Kabbala says it actually returns 10 times! I’m sure you’d agree that this is even more reason to act well without attachment to outcomes.