The state of surrender is letting go of any attachment to an outcome. When we are in a state of surrender, there is no sense of pushing for any particular outcome, no sense of forcing or striving or controlling or manipulating. It is a state of being that requires us to be in touch with our True Self, not the small fearful part of ourselves which is our ego mind. Our ego mind is very attached to outcomes, but these are limited outcomes, such as:
- “I must earn this amount of money”
- “I need love and affection right now”
- “I must beat this traffic jam and get to work by 8.30”
- “If I don’t achieve this, I’ll fail”.
Our True Self is the part of ourselves that is connected to the Divine. It knows that there is a far bigger picture going on than our ego mind will ever understand and it doesn’t think in terms of limitation. The True Self, as opposed to believing in these attachments to outcomes: knows that:
- “I will always be looked after and I will always have enough money to do what I desire”
- “I may not be getting love and affection right now, but I can choose to feel love”
- “I accept that there is a traffic jam and I allow this morning to be what it’s going to be”
- “Even if I don’t achieve this, I trust that everything will work out fine regardless of outcome”.
Surrender says“I allow everything to be as it is” and it has three essential components:
Faith, Trust and Courage
Faith – faith that the Universe is actually on our side. Whatever we believe, we create. When we have faith that the Universe is on our side and that it is forever propelling us toward our highest good, then we can let go, and not try and force an outcome.
The Universe is on your side!
Trust – only when we have faith can we fully trust. When we trust, we can allow everything around us to be out of control and yet we will still feel anchored. The more we trust in the Divine, the more courage we have.
No matter what is happening on the outside, you can still feel grounded and safe on the inside!
Courage – it actually takes courage to let go and live a surrendered life! Most of us are held back by dogma – the beliefs of the mass consciousness, the expectations of others and by our own limited belief in ourselves. This is why those that do are called spiritual warriors. They fly in the face of convention, and may be judged as naïve, crazy or stupid.
Those who have courage do incredible things! Whether it be on the world stage, or in their own humble form of leadership.
Fear stops us from letting go. All our fears are created out of our ego mind. There is nothing wrong with feeling fear. It is a normal part of the human experience because our ego mind is always going to be a part of us. Some common fears are:
- Fear of survival
- Fear of failure
- Fear of being alone
- Fear of being unloved
- Fear of losing control
- Fear of loss
- Fear of humiliation
The danger comes when we are in denial of our fear. This is when we build a hardened shell around us and try and control everything and everyone around us to keep us feeling safe – the very opposite to the state of surrender.
The more aware we are of our fears, the more we are able to face them!
When we can face our fears, we can surrender them. Courage doesn’t mean that we don’t feel any fear; courage is:
Feel the fear and do it anyway!
The more fears we face and let go of, the more we grow and expand. The Buddhists call this True Fearlessness.
Anthony de Mello, an Indian/Irish Catholic Priest turned mystic wrote about awareness and he spoke about surrender. He passed away at age 37 but you can download his talks on the internet for free. He is not only a wonderful spiritual teacher; he’s also very entertaining to listen to. He said:
“Most people don’t want to transform; they just want their toys fixed”
Meaning that their ego mind wants to cling to an outcome, as opposed to standing back and looking at the big picture and asking the most important question, which is
“What is it in me that’s creating my own misery?”
When you answer that question, what you will most certainly find is an attachment to an outcome!
De Mello says:
“Everything is in a mess, and yet all is well”
This is a paradox, and in order to live in surrender we must live in a paradox. Here is the paradox:
We are all creators. To create anything, we must have the intention to create it and work towards creating it, and at the same time surrender the outcome!
This is also known as the Universal Law of Detachment.
Very often, the more attached we are to an outcome, the more it evades us. If we can hold the intention of an outcome and work towards and not away from that outcome, while detaching from it, the sooner it will come to us.
Have you ever noticed that when you’ve wanted something too much it evades you? And yet when you start to forget about it and your attention is focused on something else, the very thing you wanted then manifests. I’m reminded of the old saying:
“A watched pot never boils”
Surrender does not mean that we cannot be intentional creators. It is actually a part of the process of creating intentionally! It doesn’t mean that you don’t work towards what you want, but what you want may not come about in the way you thought it would!!
Surrender is about trusting in the process and having faith that an outcome in your highest good will come about in whatever way it is meant to come about. It’s about not controlling the “how” but enjoying the journey to getting there. It takes patience, presence and optimism.